‘SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW’
Ageing and fading pop star Jet Rush checks
in to the Bridal Suite with Pat, his new wife.
She may be a new wife, but she’s been
his PA for over fifteen years, organising
his life, touring with him and extricating
him from the numerous problems caused by the
excesses of his rock ‘n roll lifestyle.
The marriage is, for him, a sham, another
publicity stunt in an attempt to re-invigorate
his flagging career. Pat though, has loved
him since the moment they met, but has never
seen the love returned. That’s not to
say he doesn’t care for her; he just
doesn’t realise that they’ve grown
together as a couple. With Francis the hotel
porter used as an unwitting pawn in keeping
the press at bay outside, Pat forces Jet to
come to terms with the fact that although
he’s a washed-up, middle-aged nobody
with poor health, she will stick with him,
come what may. Facing facts doesn’t
come easily to Jet, but when he begins to
realise that his hell-raising days are over,
coupled with Pat’s true feelings for
him being spelled out when he surreptitiously
reads some pages from her private diary, Jet
quietly let’s his rock star image slip
away to become plain old Harry Briggs. His
concern that Pat will desert him now is quickly
dissipated – her love shines through
to him, despite it all. Love has kept them
together; a self-centred man is drawn towards
marrying his long-time companion by the prospect
of old age and loneliness.
‘SOMETHING BORROWED’
Sam King has a barrow-boy’ view on
life, runs a whelk stall in Southend and
thinks that he isn’t short of a bob
or two. In reality, the business is badly
run and virtually everything he owns is
borrowed. Gaynor, his new wife is a no-nonsense
lass from the North of England, who is careful
with her money. They met through a dating
agency, are slightly mis-matched, and arrive
at the hotel having only known each other
for just six short weeks. They both have
a good deal more to learn about the other,
but Sam goes about this the wrong way when
tries to really impress her by placing a
huge bet on a horse, which falls in the
race and has to be put down. When he tells
Gaynor that the bet has wiped out his business,
she is not only upset by his cavalier attitude
to money but quickly becomes annoyed when
he suggests that he might borrow money from
a friend to bale them out. She soon vetoes
his suggestion that he earns a few pounds
to pay the hotel bill by performing his
stand-up comedian routine for the other
hotel guests, after he gives her a preview
of his style and repertoire. She is a proud
and strong-willed woman, and realising now
that the man she has married is not as strong
as her, she resolves that no shame or denigration
should fall on either of them, given their
newly acquired destitution. Sam is all for
being brazen with the hotel and trying to
get round the problem, but Gaynor, taking
command of him and his life, tells him they’re
going to be honest and open with the hotel,
and throw themselves on their mercy. Luck
has thrown them together in marriage; a
vain and foolish man is fortunate to find
a strong and sensible wife.
‘SOMETHING BLUE’
Paula is a married lady in her mid-40’s
with grown-up children who works part-time
in a large corporate office. Enrico is her
manager and despite her view that others
in the office would make better company
for him, he has persuaded her to go away
with him for a dirty weekend. Now she’s
actually there, she becomes nervous and
annoys him when she says she can only stay
for one night. The smooth-talking Lothario
that is ever-present in Enrico soon tries
to overcome her doubts and fears, but his
patter seems to have the opposite effect
on her – she becomes more convinced
she is doing the wrong thing. Still convinced
that she will be his latest conquest, Enrico
lays on the bed to be ‘playfully’
tied to it, hands and feet. Then the truth
emerges – she has found out that she
is the last of the office girls to have
visited the honeymoon suite with him and
now they all want their revenge. Unable
to make his escape, she tells him that only
by providing some large bonuses for her
and all of his previous office paramours
can he be sure of their silence on the matter.
Planning has brought them together; a strutting
peacock is silenced by the wrath of women
scorned.
Francis, the genial, Irish hotel porter
passes through all three plays with his
homespun philosophy and his 'see nothing',
'get you anything' attitiude to his valued
guests. He's seen it all before, nothing
surprises him. The same though cannot be
said of his guests, because they each find
out something surprising about their partner. |
