his parents go on a cruise, eleven year
old Jonathan Leech is sent to Goolish to
stay with his grandad. When grandad introduces
him to Millie (Brown Howl), Monty and their
niece Scarlet, he is appalled to find that
Scarlet is a young werewolf and that she
thinks he must be a vampire, like his grandad!
While the others go off for a bite to eat
at Dracdonalds, Jonathan vows to escape.
Scarlet reappears and points out that that
the next bus out of Goolish isn’t
day Jonathan goes to school where his teacher
is Mr Cheng. In the noisy playground, he
is befriended by new girl Tiffany. They
share their mutual revulsion of the Fang
Gang and all the dark side creatures who
live in Goolish. Tiffany reveals that she’s
formed a gang to combat the dark side elements
in Goolish and invites Jonathan to their
On his way home through the graveyard,
Jonathan meets the Fang Gang. They introduce
themselves in the song ‘We’re
The Fang Gang’. While the other Fang
Gang members go about their business, Scarlet
sits down and tells Jonathan the truth about
the dark side. Werewolves, ghouls and zombies
aren’t bad; just different –and
very keen on the art of being scary. But
Jonathan’s having no part of it. He
denies he’s a vampire and runs off.
Jonathan meets Tiffany’s friends at
the ‘Sprouts Club’ meeting.
When it’s time for him to go home
they offer him all sorts of useless ‘anti-dark
side’ equipment: sprouts, plastic
hammer, water pistol etc…
Jonathan thinks he’s got past the
graveyard without encountering the Fang
Gang when suddenly he’s confronted
by… a headless teacher! It’s
Mr Cheng, who reveals that he’s a
vampire and as in the Chinese vampire stories,
one of his powers is the ability to take
off his head. The Fang Gang appear and agree
to hunt for Mr Cheng’s head. With
Mr Cheng they dance their way to school
singing ‘When You Want to Get a Head’.
Jonathan is inclined to make his excuses.
But almost by default, he gets sucked into
the activity. Unconsciously, he is one of
the Fang Gang – he is where he belongs.
However, the head hunt ends in failure and
sorrowfully, Mr Cheng leaves.
The Fang Gang find some papier mâché
heads. They have a brilliant idea –
why not make a papier mâché
head for Mr Cheng? The gang give the head
to Mr Cheng. He is grateful, but downhearted.
He misses his real head – what’s
more Ms Goodbody, the ‘zombie’
student teacher he is taking out clubbing
that night, is bound to notice.
school, the class find Mr Cheng’s
false head so scary, they are good as gold
in class. Ms Goodbody appears- she has Mr
Cheng’s real head in a bag. She had
taken it for a haircut. At break time. The
Fang Gang start playing ‘catch’
with the papier mache head. In horror, Jonathan
suddenly realises he’s playing with
the Fang Gang! He storms off. Tiffany appears
–sees the Fang Gang playing catch
with Mr Cheng’s head, screams ‘orribly
and faints. The Fang Gang scarper. Jonathan
comes back and the Tiffany comes round.
She believes The Fang Gang have murdered
Mr Cheng and stolen his head –that’s
the sort of thing they do. In the song ‘Team
up with Me’ she persuades Jonathan
to be a vampire slayer with her. She says
she’s got a big plan to deal with
the dark side creatures. All will be revealed
at the next ‘Sprouts Club’ meeting…
Jonathan is seriously worried… confused…
At the Sprouts Club meeting the ‘bullies’
are introduced. They are revealed as petty-minded,
terrified of the dark, and suspicious of
anyone who is different. Jonathan understands
which side he is really on. He runs off
and finds Scarlet practising her howls.
They share the duet: ‘Believe in the
Moon’. Jonathan tries to warn the
Fang Gang about the danger posed by the
Sprouts Club, but they won’t listen.
The dark and light side have always lived
happily together in Goolish. And besides
Tiff is a twit. Moreover, they’re
suspicious of Jonathan’s motives.
He’s not a young vampire, he’s
a jelly baby. For the first time in the
show- Jonathan doesn’t deny who he
is. ‘I am a vampire,’ he says.
It’s midnight: on come the Fang Gang,
Jonathan grandad, Mr Cheng etc. They appear
to be carrying bodies, but they are in fact
replica vampires (with papier mache heads).
They lay these in front of the graves. Then
they hide behind the gravestones and wait.
The Sprouts and bullies appear to do battle.
Triumphantly, they ‘slay’ the
dummies. Unable to control his excitement,
Fang Gang member Gory leaps up with a ‘Yee-hah!’
The Bullies and Sprouts realise they’ve
been fooled. Grandad, Mr Cheng and the Fang
Gang try to scare the Sprouts and Bullies,
but fail. At the front of the stage, Jonathan
appears, terrified. Scarlet appears as a
wolf and reminds Jonathan that he has just
said he ‘believes in the moon’.
Jonathan realises that his ‘grown-up
fangs’ have appeared. He turns and
with Scarlet scares the opposition.
The Sprouts Club and the bullies all faint.
Jubilation: even Gory shakes Jonathan’s
hand. Grandad announces that there is party
for everyone – blood for the grown
ups, baked bones on toast for the Fang Gang!
Jonathan’s dad appears. The cruise
was cancelled owing to food poisoning. Jonathan
is in a quandary – he’s found
his place, his true friends, but he loves
his mum and dad. Mum appears and tells everyone
that they have bought a house in Goolish
–his dad’s deciding it’s
time he rediscovered his vampire roots.
Dad, Jonathan and Scarlet sing ‘Believe
in the Moon’; then the whole company
join in a reprise of ‘We’re
The Fang Gang.’